Shut Up

“Richard, you can’t write that!”

“And why not? It’s my own blog. I should be able to write whatever I want.”

“Yeah, about yourself. People are going to read this. That’s embarrassing.”

“Our names aren’t anywhere on here, Ed. They’ll never know. Not really.”

“…”

“Ed, seriously. It’s fine.”

“It’s the principal of the thing, you know? It’s an embarrassing story. I don’t want it told. Whether my actual name is attached to it or not.”

“But it’s comedy gold. Imagine the page views.”

“You still have to get people to your blog, Richard. One funny story isn’t going to cause your stats to explode unless you have a stroke of luck rarer than lightning.”

“Maybe I will though.”

“Not with that story.”

“Ed.”

“I’m serious. You’re not talking about it.”

“But your name-”

“Shut up. That’s not the point.”

“Then what am I supposed to write about.”

“Embarrass yourself. Not me. I don’t care.”

“None of my stories are as good as yours.”

“What about-”

“Shut it. I don’t want to hear it.”

“See. It’s not so easy when it’s you, is it?”

“That’s different. They may not know my real name, but they’d still associate the story with the guy who runs the blog. That’s embarrassing enough. I wouldn’t be able to post ever again. You wouldn’t have that worry. I’d make up a fake name for you to tell the story.”

“No.”

“Ed.”

“You can keep saying my name. The more aggravated you make me, the more I want to turn you down.”

“…”

“…”

“Give me another decent topic to write about, and I swear I’ll leave you alone.”

“I did already.”

“Not embarrassing stories.”

“You wanted something funny.”

“But not embarrassing!”

“Do you even know how to find something funny that’s not embarrassing.”

“…”

“…”

“Fine. Embarrassing to someone else, just not either of us.”

“…”

“Ed.”

“No.”

“Ed.”

“…”

“Ed.”

“…”

“Ed-”

“Shut up.”

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