Writing Romantic Relationships Scares Me Sometimes

I’ve been writing on a regular basis for around a decade (and sometimes posting that writing online, primarily through fanfiction), but I still consider myself a beginner. Sure, if we went back to my preteen self’s writing (which we won’t), then we’d see that I’ve come a long way, but there’s plenty farther to go.

One of the aspects of writing I still don’t entirely understand is how to develop a great romantic relationship from beginning to end. I think the reason this is on my mind a lot is because I’m so particular about how I like romantic relationships to play out in the media I consume. (I have a relationship archetype that I’m drawn to, although I do appreciate couples that don’t fit into that archetype.) I also admit that I can get judgmental when a relationship doesn’t play out in a way that I like, especially if it falls into particular tropes I despise.

You’d think that knowing all of this would give me insight when developing romantic relationships in my own writing. Plus, I’ve written relationships from their beginning to their “happy ending” and even beyond in one case. When it comes to the fanfiction I’ve posted online, I’ve had people compliment how those relationships were developed (although I can’t forget that, in the case of fanfiction, they’ve likely sought out a story about a pairing they already cared about).

For some reason, relationship development is one of the aspects of my stories that I question the most, which is saying something as I question almost everything. Whenever I’m developing a relationship, I’m never quite sure if I’m taking things too slow or too fast. Neither of which are what I want, but where is the perfect medium? I’m never too sure while writing.

On top of that, I always wonder if the readers will see the same chemistry between the characters that I do, or am I going to leave them wondering how I could have ever thought they worked together?

There are always so many questions. Many of them are likely fueled by how much personal preference drives the fictional relationships that people celebrate. Anyone who’s been within a hundred yards of a fandom shipping war know that no modestly sized fandom consists of fans that view the romantic dynamics in their favorite story the same way. If that’s taught me anything, it’s that I’m never going to write a romantic relationship that appeals to everyone.

That should give me comfort, but as with all things, I’m still working on having the confidence to know that I’m doing what’s right for my story even if that means that some people disagree.

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